Chasing Cars

It sure has been a while since my last post. During that time, many things have happened indeed. Most notably, I attempted to scale Mount Kilimanjaro, a task which required every ounce of my mental strength and energy to survive, never mind complete. Unfortunately, I fell short of achieving my goals, but still it was one experience I will never forget. In the same vein, that experience made me realise how mortal I was, and what my limits were. Indeed, I encountered scenarios that I had never faced before, scenarios that actually put my life on the line. It made me realise how dependent was I on the support of others to endure and survive. I also gained a respect for the fortitude of others who were deceptively stronger than they appeared to be. Truly, my eyes were opened in this trip Suffice to say I have made many friends during this trip, friends I hope to keep in touch with. Then of course, comes the inevitable tinge of longing for a particular person on the trip Well they say that dating a colleague is always a bad idea, and I tend to agree with the majority. However the problem is when the feelings come, they flow like a river. Try as I can, I cannot avoid, nor can I deny them. The problem is that I do not know what to do with these emotions. Act on them and I risk getting wounded again. Deny them and the cycle of self soltitude continues Its ironic that I long so much for a relationship, yet I back down when the opportunity presents itself. This is when I envy those who can just risk it all and go for broke, for I am not that person. I am naturally cautious, and averse to risk. That's why its so tough just to go to work and see the same person again, for it always triggers that same conflict in my mind There is but 1 week left before I stop seeing this person regularly, but I know not whether it is a blessing, or a curse. It has been a long while since I felt this way, a really long while. I just hope that if the 2 of us are meant to be, things will work out naturally.