Here I am again. This is the first time posting since I realised that this blog is no longer my own personal playground anymore. Nonetheless, it is the place for me to release my inner emotions. Being open is diificult for me though, in more ways than one. It makes me vulnerable, and for all intents and purposes, I hate being vulnerable.
Being 26 and turning 27, my life is definitely at a crossroads. I see many friends around me who have moved on. Some have gotten married, some have bought houses, some have even started families. In essence, all their lives have undergone major changes. Myself? Not that much. Apart from a new job, everything still looks and feels similar, both good and bad.
You could say I am stuck in a rut. On one hand, I am used to the comfort and monotone of my daily routine. It doesn't use up plenty of brain power, and it is easy. On the other, I yearn for challenges, a big shift in my life that will change my direction and grant me new purpose. However i also know that it will imply some suffering, some pain and some tough choices. I don't think I am ready for those...or so say the restrictions in my mind.
My close friends say that I am limiting myself, and probably they are right. I know that I am capable of much more than what I am now. Problem is, I continue making excuses. Year after year, I make a resolution only to break it. Then at the end of the year I tell myself that the previous year will be the last and I pledge to improve, only to relapse back to my comfortable state.
Can I break out of the chains of my mind? I don't know. I know I have to, but I don't know how.
What are the true limits of my potential? Maybe I just have to find out.
