The title is self explanatory isn't it? Goes to show how long I have taken to readjust to the boring, mundane nature of my school life. Only today did I actually put some serious hours into my revision for the forthcoming CA. I guess I am probably luckier than most people due to the fact that my memory is somewhat of an asset when it comes to studying, but that should not be an excuse for slacking and not studying when it matters.
I just feel a sense of emptiness at the moment. I can't put my finger on it, but I just feel quite lonely inside. Is it because I have no friends? That is certainly not the case. Is it the lack of someone special? Probably, but I should have gotten over that by now. Or maybe I haven't. I just can't figure out why some people are so contented with what they have, whereas people like me are never satisfied. I guess it is just my nature. I really want to break out of this cycle of regret but I can't find the strength to do so. Sometimes I really wish for divine intervention in this matter.
As the saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side". That certainly applies to me a great deal.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
School has restarted!
This will be a short post i guess..
Yeah as the title suggests, the mundane cycle of uni life has begun again, and I am still quite confused and disoriented. Must be the 'holiday syndrome' I think. Right now my anatomy tutorials require me to do presentations...which are quite irritating and challenging for me. Oh well guess things still have to be done. I just have to drag my lifeless carcass to the computer to type out something meaningful...
Life sucks now but it should get better...but I must put in the effort, hate it as I may, to ensure that it DOES get better
Wish me Luck!
Yeah as the title suggests, the mundane cycle of uni life has begun again, and I am still quite confused and disoriented. Must be the 'holiday syndrome' I think. Right now my anatomy tutorials require me to do presentations...which are quite irritating and challenging for me. Oh well guess things still have to be done. I just have to drag my lifeless carcass to the computer to type out something meaningful...
Life sucks now but it should get better...but I must put in the effort, hate it as I may, to ensure that it DOES get better
Wish me Luck!
Thursday, January 06, 2005
I am 21...an adult now right?
Its been a long while since my last post...and during this time, many things have happened. Personally, I turned 21 and went to Cambdia, which was an experience I will never forget. I also made some decisions about my personal life in a way never attempted before. On the world, there was a natural disaster of such horrifying magnitude that it still seems surreal that it actually took place at all. My heart goes out to all these tsumani victims and I hope that God will deliver them from their suffering and alleviate their pain.
The Cambodia experience was really one I feel privileged and lucky to have been a part of. I got to see the world in a perspective never seen before. In Singapore, we worry about things like fashion, BGRs, grades in school, and other material stuff, but in Cambodia, what I saw were people whose concerns were on a much more basic and serious manner. Things such as water, electricity and food, which we Singaporeans take for granted. were not in abundance in this place and everything is precious to the people here. Basic survival is the name of the game in Cambodia, and looking at them struggle to survive, I felt that I should appreciate what I have so much more. Rather than just worry over trivial matters, I should instead try to do my part to help people who are less fortunate than I am. It take some time to change my current flippant lifestyle, but in order to become a more understanding person, this change is something that must be done. I pray to God to give me his guidance and guide my new path to serve His purpose for me.
Back in Singapore, I finally confessed to her that I had feelings for her....and her response was that we should just remain friends. However somehow, I wasn't as devastated as I thought I would have been. Maybe it was the fact that I expected this outcome, or maybe it was just a sign that I have grown up and have learnt to deal with rejection. Whatever the case, I felt somewhat relieved over my confessing in a way. It may not have progressed beyond friendship. but it did develop our friendship in a good way, as we were able to be more candid with each other. Somehow I believe I have gained more than I have lost, as I know her better now. She may not be that special someone now or maybe ever, but to me she will always have a special place in my heart as one of my true friends. I think I should also follow her lead and let God lead the way for finding that special someone rather than yearn for it so much and making myself miserable. Since everything is in His design, I will just let things take their course and serve Him as best as I can. Hence girls can wait, and studies and church should now be my top priority.
So ends my first column since turning 21...Happy New Year to all!
The Cambodia experience was really one I feel privileged and lucky to have been a part of. I got to see the world in a perspective never seen before. In Singapore, we worry about things like fashion, BGRs, grades in school, and other material stuff, but in Cambodia, what I saw were people whose concerns were on a much more basic and serious manner. Things such as water, electricity and food, which we Singaporeans take for granted. were not in abundance in this place and everything is precious to the people here. Basic survival is the name of the game in Cambodia, and looking at them struggle to survive, I felt that I should appreciate what I have so much more. Rather than just worry over trivial matters, I should instead try to do my part to help people who are less fortunate than I am. It take some time to change my current flippant lifestyle, but in order to become a more understanding person, this change is something that must be done. I pray to God to give me his guidance and guide my new path to serve His purpose for me.
Back in Singapore, I finally confessed to her that I had feelings for her....and her response was that we should just remain friends. However somehow, I wasn't as devastated as I thought I would have been. Maybe it was the fact that I expected this outcome, or maybe it was just a sign that I have grown up and have learnt to deal with rejection. Whatever the case, I felt somewhat relieved over my confessing in a way. It may not have progressed beyond friendship. but it did develop our friendship in a good way, as we were able to be more candid with each other. Somehow I believe I have gained more than I have lost, as I know her better now. She may not be that special someone now or maybe ever, but to me she will always have a special place in my heart as one of my true friends. I think I should also follow her lead and let God lead the way for finding that special someone rather than yearn for it so much and making myself miserable. Since everything is in His design, I will just let things take their course and serve Him as best as I can. Hence girls can wait, and studies and church should now be my top priority.
So ends my first column since turning 21...Happy New Year to all!
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