Well, it has been a long time since I last posted isn't it? Many things have happened since then, triumphs and disappointments both included. I am now at the tail end of 2006, and I must say that I feel unfulfilled as to what I have achieved this year. It started off with so many aspirations, however many of these aspirations still remain just that, dreams without reality.
Compared to previous years, I seem to have lost a bit of the drive that kept me going in my first 2 years. I don't know why...it seems as though the fire that burnt so strongly at the start is beginning to wane due to lack of fuel. Probably it was all the studying I did in the first part of the year, or probably it was due to clinical postings, which I felt drained me quite a bit. Whatever it was, it affected my enthusiasm and my energy levels, and hence I found myself losing the motivation and focus to learn more, which I believe cost me in my end of posting test which I ended up failing. I also stopped going to Muay Thai in that period, and now I am stuck with a paunch which I detest but seem unable to find the energy to something about...or so I lead myself to believe.
I can honestly say that I have reached a low point in my life that needs some reinvention and an infusion of new energy. Somehow, my brain seems to know the answer...plan out how to improve your life, and the improvements will come...but somehow I lack the motivation to do that. I look at what others can achieve and know that I can match those achievements, however I need that spark, that motivation, and that impetus in order to do so, and I am still trying to find it.
The funny thing is that people actually look up to me for inspiration, even at this point in time others are still giving me compliments for what I do. Is this where my spark should come from? Honestly, I do not know.
Anyway, now the priority will be to tie up loose ends and plan for the new year, which should promise new challenges ahead. After that, we'll see.
