Darkness of My Psyche

Suffice to say that I will keep this post short.

Throughout my life, loneliness has been my companion, and inferiority my motto. My life has been littered with many highlights of disappointment, failed attempts and rejection. No matter what I try, failure is always not far away, and despair breathes down my neck relentlessly.

Those who have never gone down this road will never know the pain that lies there. They can try to analyse matters, they can give advice, they can try to nod their heads and empathise. But they will never know the pain...the pain that comes when you are in this self-created hell.

Those who look for optimism should run from me, for they will burn in the flames of my despair. Those who look for hope should hide from me, for they wil be crushed by the weight of my anger.

Bitterness tinges my every words, and I declare this loudly, for this is the hell I live in. If God was looking for me, He need look no further. The question is not whether he could pull me out of this, but tather, would He even bother? What use does He have for one who has renounced the very values He has preached?

Go find all your knights in shining armour elsewhere, for you will find nothing but despair and darkness here.