Saturday, May 07, 2005

Can I get an Encore...do you want more?

Hey, back on the blogging trail again...I have restarted my kickboxing lessons, and guess what? I sprained my foot in the very first lesson. Imagine that for luck? Well I guess that the old adage "No gain no pain" really does apply here...

Oh well, today I had a good amount of time to think about my current state, and I realised that well, I tend to long too much for attention. I mean, I was always wish I had a girlfriend or something, but that seems to be the very thing which prevents me from getting one in the first place. Well, I think that I am really thinking too much about this issue, and this makes my life unnecesssarily miserable. However, I want to change this state of affairs and just live life as it is.

How to go about doing that? Just make myself busy? Just go on outings every day just for the sake of distracting myself? I would really like to find a solution to this problem. I would think that the only way to get out this mess is to just adopt a wait and see policy, but yet there is always that nagging feeling that refuses to go away. It is like that monkey on my back that refuses to be shaken off. They always say that the best way to enjoy life is to be yourself, yet I know what I am like, an introverted personality. I always try to blend in into other social groups, but I always feel left out no matter what I do.

I think my main problem is a lack of confidence in socializing. I always seem to suffer from a mental barrier. That's probably why I don't have an extensive circle of friends. Oh well, guess I have to try to change that then in order to assimilate into the mainstream of society.

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